Fear not
July 27, 2023
Hi friend,
Don’t panic. It’s still July. And August almost always lasts longer than we fear. So let’s take a deep breath and remember that the summer isn’t over yet.
Last month, we started our journey through big themes from my books. Our goal is to release things that hold us back and amplify things that help us shine. So far, we've considered the universal worry that we aren’t enough and the importance of identity. Today we’re talking about fear.
For me, the title of chapter 2 of Well on Your Way (WOYW) says it all: Everyone is scared. Period. I even mentioned fear in the opening paragraph of this message by pure coincidence. Fear is everywhere. The particular flavor may vary, but the overarching themes are predictable. Take this list of sample fear-inducers from Well in the Lead (WITL). How many can you relate to?
Not having a vision
Lacking the ability to advance or implement that vision
Failing or falling short of expectations
Relinquishing control over important details in favor of a big-picture focus
Looking foolish, ill informed, or nontransparent in front of faculty, staff, students, the board of trustees, or key advisory boards, particularly when asked awkward or pointed questions in public
Being disliked
Being forced to implement mandates from above
Losing the confidence of key stakeholders
(WITL, chapter 2, p. 20)
I’m betting that at least a couple of these resonated whether you're in a formal leadership role or not. I have a similar list in WOYW that includes things like the fear that we’re not doing it right and the fear of not getting things published/getting scooped, among others.
So we’re all afraid. Great. What can we do about it?
First, I’ve found that just acknowledging our fears can help to ease them. While this could happen in a deep conversation with a close friend (or coach!), a quick chat with a trusted colleague or even a quiet moment of honest self-reflection can often do the trick. These questions from chapter 2 of WOYW might serve as a launching point.
If you’d like to take it a step further, you might try Expressive Writing. Extensive research documents the benefits of this simple approach. You can find a 2-minute description of the technique here. (Hint: It’s just what the name suggests.)
Finally, I find that the best antidote to fear is trust. Trusting myself. Trusting in the universe. Trusting in humanity, which can admittedly be a struggle at times.
I'll close with a few lines from a prayer that appears in chapter 2 of WOYW:
Please help me move through each day with
a deep faith in my abilities,
a humble beginner’s mind,
an open heart,
and a deep trust
that everything is unfolding for my highest good.
As always, thanks for being here, and thanks for being you.
Take good care,
Elizabeth