Keep out!
October 31, 2025
Happy Halloween! I'm going to try to keep this short(ish) so we can get to the important stuff like candy and costumes.
Today we're talking about boundaries, the seventh key from Resourced & Ready: The Ultimate R&R. And I'm actually tying it to the Halloween theme! (Impressive, right?)
On Wednesday night, my husband and I went to Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios. If you know me well, you know that horror as entertainment is NOT my jam. There's enough to scare me in the real world. But we had free tickets, and we'd been curious, so we decided to give it a try.
Guess what? It was super fun. We're really glad we went. I even bought a t-shirt!
So where do boundaries come in? Well, part of the secret to my success was an insider tip shared by one of my kids, who also doesn't naturally vibe with horror as entertainment. He suggested wearing noise-cancelling headphones inside the haunted houses. It may seem strange, but it turns out that removing one source of agitation—sudden loud noises—takes the intensity down significantly. Setting that boundary allowed me to react to the creatures jumping out at me without jumping out of my own skin.
And while this particular boundary isn't one I'm likely to set again before next Halloween, I think it's a great reminder of the positive impact of creating even quirky little buffers.
So let's explore Key #7 a bit more.
Key #7: Establishing Boundaries
Full disclosure: Setting limits can be tough, especially when we genuinely care about helping others and being dependable. Still, there are many reasons to establish boundaries. One big one? We can’t keep showing up for others if we’re completely drained ourselves.
I like to think of boundaries as guardrails. They keep us steady and give us space for creativity and big ideas, while keeping us from sliding headlong into burnout.
Even small resets make a difference. Stepping away from our desk. Looking out a window. Jotting down those “think later” thoughts to clear our mind. It might feel a little uncomfortable at first, but as researcher Brené Brown says, “Choose discomfort over resentment.” When we do, we have more energy to show up as the best version of ourselves.
And here’s a bonus—when we start practicing healthy boundaries, people notice. Colleagues follow our lead, and soon the culture begins to shift in ways that are healthier for everyone.
Boundaries sometimes mean saying no. But more importantly, they mean saying yes—yes to our time, our energy, and the things that matter most.
Try It: Find Your Boundary Fit
One research-backed way to prevent burnout and boost well-being is to match the boundaries you want with the ones you actually live by. Experts including Ellen Kossek and Tammy Allen call this your “boundary fit.”
There are many exercises aimed to help reinforce healthy boundaries. Here’s a quick one to try:
Get clear on what you want.
Write down how you wish things looked—your ideal work hours, email habits, or focus time. (“No email after 7 p.m.” or “Mornings are for writing—no meetings!”)Notice what’s real.
For a week, pay attention to when you stick to those boundaries and when they slip. What’s behind it? Pressure, guilt, or maybe just habit?Tweak one thing.
Pick one small, realistic change. Maybe you silence notifications after dinner or block one uninterrupted work session each day. Try it out, then adjust.Check in with yourself.
How does it feel? Most people find they’re less stressed, more focused, and more in control when their actions align with their values.
Boundaries are about creating more breathing room. Our lives are not our email inboxes. We don't allow anyone to dump whatever they want to in here. Instead, we set boundaries to demonstrate self-respect and protect the space we need to rest, recharge, and actually enjoy what we’re working so hard for.
So why not take your boundaries for a test drive this week? You might be surprised by how good it feels.
As always, thanks for being here. And thanks for being you.
My gratitude truly knows no bounds!
Elizabeth
Did you have a chance to watch episode 3 of Voices of Authentic Excellence: The STANDOUT Professor podcast? Earlier this year, I was thrilled to be joined by Dr. Dereck Barr-Pulliam, an outstanding role model for anyone seeking balance in an academic life. I hope you’ll take time to listen as Dereck shares wise perspectives on a wide range of topics, including managing identity in professional spaces, the importance of maintaining a strong support system, and how parenthood reshapes priorities. You’ll be glad you did!
You may know that I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on how, for some of us, the academic environment is not merely challenging, but traumatizing. Exploring Pathways to Peace is a narrated slideshow that reviews common sources of trauma in academia (Preview: it’s not only catastrophic events), describes some of the symptoms, and offers tools for healing. I hope the presentation provides a path forward, whether you’ve experienced academic trauma yourself or you’re seeking to help others.
Whether you’re feeling empowered and energized or overwhelmed and exhausted, Resourced & Ready: The Ultimate R&R provides keys to finding balance and building resilience. I hope you’ll return to it often as you continue to navigate this uncertain terrain.
To support that process, I’ll be digging into a different key in each of my upcoming newsletters. We’ll explore the core concepts and consider simple ways to put them into practice. Next up is Practicing Real Self-Care.